I don’t know how I didn’t even notice this. Maybe it’s a quality of life thing, or comfort that things are moving in a direction I’d like. I just keep thinking about how fiscally, we’ve doubled where we were last year and still have another 5mo to go and thats when things really take off. But somehow it happened without all the rigamarole of the years before. I’m grateful for it. What if though….

As I made my galleries for yesterday, I had a strange feeling. I’m an incredibly anxious person. I felt panic on top of relief. I don’t know a better way to say that. I felt like I climbed a mountain but I’m afraid of heights. I’m reaching a point where this is going to have to progress more. I have no doubts anymore that it will. But that’ll mean upending a life that Ive had for a while now and I don’t do well with changes like that. I guess we’ll see when we do.

I think that I’m considering making some changes to my style. For a while now I’ve shot this super contrasty/hard light pop style. But I realize that I’m starting to get a little bored with it. Lately I’ve been brighter, more diffused. Sterile if you will. I’m starting to enjoy it. I’m trying to figure out a way to hybrid this into something that makes a bit more sense. While also getting back to natural light a bit more.

I’ve been busy. Busy enough that I’ve had to remind myself every time I get tired that this is exactly what I wanted. I realized though that I just stopped writing around this time last year when I started on with this trend to stacked months.